went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
