There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
