You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
