He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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