i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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