I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
