You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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