Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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