If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
