I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wear drunk well.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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