i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
