Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
