DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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