Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
