I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
