If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
