Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
