did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
