Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
