I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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