Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
