I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
