i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
