i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize