If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize