she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
