Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm really busy with my period
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