We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
