Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
