let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
