ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
