Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
