spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize