Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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