What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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