Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
