I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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