That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love you. Go after that dick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize