I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
