There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
