She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
