Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
