Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
