i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
