i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
