we made out on top of his cat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
