my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the condom got lost in my hair
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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