dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
