I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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