i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
