i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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