Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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