well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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