ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am one with the molecules
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
