You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How does it feel to date your dad?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
