she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
