she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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