So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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